The myth of balance: (pt.1)…

Family and work can’t be balanced. The good news is that it’s not supposed to be. You heard me. It’s not in the Bible.  Not one time in Scripture, are you and I encouraged to live “balanced” lives.  You know why? For one reason, life CAN’T be balanced! If it could be balanced, Jesus would’ve at least gotten it done, right?  However, does it surprise you to hear that Jesus didn’t balance family and work well? Jesus saw His priorities to family and work as equal “rhythms” that demanded ALL of His attention at a given point, rather than two competing loyalties that must be balanced at a given point. Here are some examples:

• When Jesus was 12 yrs old, He disappeared from his mom and dad and went to the Temple. When His mother found him and chastised Him, what did He say? “I must be about my Father’s business.” In other words, “Mom, right now, the most important thing I could be doing is learning to do what God has called me to do.”
• Jesus also didn’t have the typical mantra: “God first; family second; and work third.” I don’t know where we got that idea, but it wasn’t from the Bible. Jesus didn’t live this way. Jesus’ family was NOT ALWAYS more important than His ministry. Three Gospels record the true story that tells of a day in Jesus’  life  when He is  teaching great crowds; and  his mother and brothers show up and ask him to come home and be with them:  “As Jesus was speaking to the crowd, his mother and brothers were outside, wanting to talk with him. Someone told Jesus, “Your mother and your brothers are outside, and they want to speak to you.” Matthew 12:46-47 (NLT). Upon hearing this request, Jesus refuses to even come to the door! Why? Because He was in the middle of His work!
• If Jesus would have valued family over work or ministry, He never would have died on the cross! Think about it.

Don’t get me wrong: Jesus highly valued relationships! Here are some examples:

• Jesus  picked 12 friends to do His ministry WITH. He had three He was closer to than anyone else.
• While on the cross, Jesus was very concerned with the welfare of his mother and his best friend John:  “When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “Dear woman, here is your son,” and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.”  John 19:26-27 (NIV).
• Jesus passionately loved people! So much so that He died for us!

Jesus wasn’t balanced. He lived life in rhythm. When He was supposed to be working, He gave it His all:  His very life!  When He was supposed to be doing life with God or people, He was fully present physically, emotionally, and mentally.  NO one has ever been more passionate about people than Jesus. However, He didn’t just live at the whims of people, even his own family!

SO what do we learn from Jesus? Wherever you are, be there. When you’re at work, be at work. Don’t be on facebook; don’t be on the phone every hour with your family;  Be a good steward of your job! That  honors God.

When you’re at home; BE there! NOT on the phone; not on the laptop; not on facebook; BE with your family! Be fully present: physically, AND mentally! THAT honors God!  THAT’S following the way of Jesus! Life in Rhythm!

Does that set you free?

We’ll be unpacking all of this even more beginning this Sunday in our new series: “Rhythm: Less Stress. More Peace.”

Comments

[Jody May]

Good thoughts. You sum it all up in the last part. Wherever you are at be fully there. Too many of us believe home is when we get to check out. We should live with as much intensity at home, if not more, as we do at work.

[jangreggo]

Man that puts it into perspective. I've never found what we define as balance to be a quality of anyone who accomplishes great things - especially Christ.

[Mark Love]

Alright, you've messed me up this morning. Great post!

[Joel Rissinger]

Good stuff--my only "add" would be that I've never thought of family as separate from ministry anyway. Thus, if not seperate, what is there to "balance?" My family is part of my ministry and my ministry is always to my family. I also have never thought that my private devotional life was separate from ministry. If God speaks to me about change in my life--there's probably a good sermon in there (I.e. Andy Stanley's, "Me-We-God-You-We" method of preaching). Thanks for this dialogue! Blessings, PJ

[Ted Blair]

Great word and challenge. As a pastor, husband and father - I must live the will and call of God present in all the things I do.

[Tim]

Call it what you want, but it’s balance!

[Paul Ireland]

Shawn, I totally agree with being all there wherever you are. That is a great reminder. When at work, BE THERE.

If that was all we needed, that'd be great. But life is not that simple. We have choices to make of WHERE to be focused. These choices are a harsh reality to church planters who work from home who have to make choices of when to focus fully on ministry and when to focus fully on family. Simply saying "be there" is not helpful.

“God first; family second; and work third.” is an attempt to put priorities into perspective. It is clearly imperfect, but not totally unhelpful. It is a general guide for staying "on rhythm". When hard choices come - like when that person calls on a Saturday claiming their life is falling apart - it helps address what is the best course of action. Is it Biblical? Good question. Can you love your wife like Christ loved the Church if you spend all your time at work? Can a man be truly "providing for his relatives" if he spends all his resources caring for his flock? Can you really diligently teach the ways of the Lord to your children if all your time is spent teaching others?

Wise decision-making is best informed by a clear set of priorities. We see that in Jesus, as he would leave healing people to proclaim the Kingdom elsewhere, indicating which was of greater priority (Mark 1:38).

We also need to remember that Jesus was not a father or husband, so we need to tread lightly when applying his life to the role of father or husband - which Biblically do have certain responsibilities.

[Josie Leung]

Found this through Twitter! I appreciate it, especially as someone who "works at ministry from home". It's all work, and it's all ministry, and it's all God (or, at least, I aim for that). I suppose we're all a work in progress, but I often wondered how God got lumped in with family and ministry/work in a recommended list of priorities...seems He's on an entirely different level!