Resolving Conflict...

The church is described in the Bible as a family. Other Christians are our our brothers and sisters, and together we make up the family of God. Question for you: Does your family ever have conflict? Do you think it would be possible that a family made up of HUNDREDS of people would ever have conflict? In fact, I will promise you this: If you hang around church and Christians long enough, someone is going to hurt your feelings; someone's going to make you angry; you're going to disagree with someone about something; you're going to have conflict! Welcome to the family! 

God never promised that as Christians, we would never have conflict. He DID say, however, that the way we DEAL WITH, and RESOLVE conflict, should be different from the way everyone else does it! So here's the #1 distinct, different way Christians should deal with conflict, versus how everyone else deals with it:

• Instead of avoiding it,  deal with it head on. 

Everyone HATES conflict, and avoids it at all costs. However, as Christ followers, Jesus taught that not only are we NOT to avoid it, we are to meet conflict head on, brother to brother and sister to sister. “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.” - Jesus, in Matthew 18:15 (NLT).

So what does this mean?

• "Venting" is not Biblical. We're not supposed to talk about our "struggle" to anyone else. We are supposed to go talk to the person who offended us. Talking to ANYONE else about it before we have talked to that person is SIN, and we need to repent of it. Venting our anger, struggles, and questions to anyone else, only further spreads and perpetuates the problem and can cause huge problems in the church! 
• We work out conflict face to face. Not email, facebook, or even over the phone. We need to do this WITH our brother or sister ONE ON ONE!
• We should NOT wait for the person to come to us. We must be the initiator of reconciliation. Isn't that what Jesus did for us? We must be proactive. Go to them. Go talk to your spouse. Go talk to your co-worker or even your boss. Talk to your parents. Go talk to you pastor. He won't bite. In fact, I respect a person so much MORE when they say to me: "Pastor, I'm struggling with something you said (or did) and I just need to talk to you about it."
• Don't wait until there's a big deal. Keep the the slate clean and the air clear. Even when there may not be a HUGE deal between us and another person, even if we sense something is there, we need to call it out brother to brother; sister to sister:  "John, it could just be TOTALLY me, but I just sense things haven't been right lately and I just want to make sure we're OK." 
• Don't let Sunday get here before we do this. Jesus was also teaching here that our worship of God and our spiritual growth will be limited as long as there is unresolved conflict in our lives. Jesus said, BEFORE we try to worship again, go and deal with this?

Question: Who do you need to talk with, and what do you need to talk about, before your next worship experience?